I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize