I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
