What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
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