Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
The uberlube is also flammable
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
