If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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