I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
