Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
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Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
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Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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