The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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