what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Im part way to drunk.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
