we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
