We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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