It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
