I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Randomize
