Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Two words: nipple clamps
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