Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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