Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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