I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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