Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
You ruined the universe
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
