I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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