Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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