I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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