"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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