A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
