Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
