Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize