I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
This is my gift to your gina
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
