why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
