we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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