it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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