I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
