i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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