You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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