so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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