i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
