She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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