so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
