Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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