just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
