You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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