Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
