Do vagina's smell?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
