I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Randomize
