Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I want to fling myself into the sun
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
