Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
