Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize