he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
