Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
