You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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