I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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