great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
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Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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