Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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