I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
And then he peed in my hair
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