Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
you didnt know i had herpes?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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