They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
