Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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