The maid of honor just puked.
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
