guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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