I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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