went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
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